Health and other associated issues - Tips, Information and Guides
Navigating the Special Education Maze
by: Nadine O'Reilly, M.A. As a school psychologist, as well as the mother of a child with a chronic
health condition, I understand all too well the intimidation that accompanies
entering the “bargaining†sessions of IEP meetings. There are ways,
however, to stack the proverbial cards in your favor. Read on… To begin with, be prepared for anything. Keep accurate documentation and
note the dates and times that everything occurs. I’m not exaggerating
– EVERYTHING. Every phone call, every progress report, etc. Nothing is
more intimidating to IEP teams than a parent who has prepared for their meeting.
A parent with a Plan of their own is scary for us, because what if we look like
idiots, or offend you? That’s why you have to come into meetings prepared
for anything, almost as if you’re documenting for a Due Process hearing.
You never know, you might have to “go there.†Second, know your rights. Ask for a copy of your State’s Parental
Rights in Special Education (PRISE) for your review before you attend any
meeting at all. You can find the PRISE for your State by entering a search on
Google. Third, know you’re an active participant and that no one can force
a program on you or your child. For example, some schools will hand you an IEP
that they’ve already devised before you got there, with hopes that the
meeting will go quickly and you’ll just sign and leave. But that’s
like going to an Italian restaurant and all that’s on the menu is
spaghetti. Your child is unique and to truly devise an individualized plan, all
of those involved should plan on spending at least one hour talking through the
parts of the plan that are going to affect the child academically and
socio-emotionally. Know what you want before you go in there. Have a Mission in mind, know
your goals, and outline your strategies before you even step foot in that room.
For example, you’ll need goals for your child. Make sure you’ve
broken them down to the smallest components before you ask for them –
you’ll be surprised how much more you get out of your request. I.e., Goal: I want my child to be able to get – and hold – a
job when they graduate. Well, that’s plain, isn’t it? If you broke it down, however,
you’d have: I want my child to learn: How to respect authority; How to type;
How to honor time commitments;
How to respectfully interact with peers;
Etc.
Now, doesn’t that look more like what you were thinking? You may not get all of them, but you’ll get some – and
that’s way more specific than “get a job,†so there’ll
be a bit more work required of your Team. Good. Third, know you’ll run into snags. There will be red tape
you’ll have to circumvent; you’ll meet people whose goal it is to
keep children from receiving services (yes, after all of those years of
education, you would think we’re all in this for the children. Yet some
of our colleagues are actually naysayers); you’ll hear all about how
“this is not how we operate†when you present documentation proving
otherwise; etc. You’ll certainly learn a lesson in frustration tolerance. If you’re lucky, you won’t have to deal with any of the
above. But I doubt it. Fourth, learn from the negatives and appreciate the positives. You will
also learn some positive things, such as knowing when to give up. By this I
don’t mean walking out on your plan, but knowing when to compromise. Fifth, know your child is entitled to individuality. If you look at
evaluations, they might all seem the same. You don’t want your
child’s IEP to be just like everyone else’s, or they’ll be
ignored. Trust me on this one. I have seen 1,000’s of IEPs and rarely
does the school hold itself responsible for child failure. It’s always
“Johnny X†or “Johnny’s mom Y.†Make sure your
child’s IEP delineates what has NOT been done for him – not just
what has been. You just want us to fix what you’ve done wrong. Did that statement infuriate you? It’s what most school staff
thinks when you demand fair treatment. My advice? Listen more than you speak and ask very specific questions
– questions that merit elaboration on the part of your Team. Most of all,
remain respectful. No one likes a bully, or someone who blames everything on
everyone else. Oh, and smile graciously as you lay your tape recorder on the conference
table… ;)
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